tangerine bluff

since I'm back after so long please treat me kindly, head over to pomegrenade for a new piece coming out soon xx

Tum thak kar kahan jaoge?

Log toh thak kar ghar jaate hain.

But I’m going home is a tangerine bluff —

I almost say it out loud,

warm against the walls of my mouth.

Always has been. Always will be.

-

If I’m awake, it’s the noise outside.

If I’m still, it’s the deep waters tonight,

pulling me under, touching my skin.

Five hundred miles from home,

I sleep in a deserted coral grave.

-

Mourners at my feet,

grief rising up my ankles.

It kisses my heel,

rubs its head like a cat,

begging for my pulse.

-

I’m never going home with you.

Cut your fingers to feed my vanity.

Paint my eyelids with a new dream.

It won’t matter. It won’t pull me back.

-

No hope is hope enough.

No memory, sweet.

Blame it on the drinks if you must —

we’ve been over, under, through it.

But the walls of my house

have forgotten my name.